Here lies buried Harry Soh

It is with the heaviest of hearts than we are gathered here today to witness the burial of Harry Soh.
Here under our feet lies his meekness, his weakness,his low self esteem,his lack of courage,his hesistance,his failure to do what his heart tells him so,his reasons and excuses,his fear of failure,his frustration about how unfair the world,his anger at being bullied into submission,his lack of guts to speak up for his own rights, his inability to tap into his own personal pool of abilities to manifest positive things in life and his lack of ability to believe that anything is possible.....

Here lies buried the cold,limp body of someone we all hold so dear..... let us all pay our last respects to this soul.

Zombies Alive!!!

Been trying very hard in recent weeks to be motivated in thou's day job. This is incredibly frustrating. When you have finally decided to pursue your dream and do the impossible...... the 1 month notification period is a killer..... everyday, I had to drag my feet to work. Maybe this job is burning my passion away....sucking my energy dry like a psyhic vampire....argghhhh.... the pain and anguish..... it is a repetitive cycle of endless screaming...... when you are in a room with 40 screaming kids for at least 5 hours a day...you tend to lose your sanity very quickly. Even a teacher has advised not to step into the teaching profession. It was good when the benefits were at its peak but there is not much consolation. So much for being a civil servants these days....... Waiting for the start to a new life....... I shall be there.... I shall be the best!!!

Frustration

I am getting rather frustrated at the recent turn of events.

Things have been rather positive on the photography front. Getting deals and loads of enquiries. Even had people smsing me saying they love my works. That is flattering but I really hope to get even better. It is no longer enough to just shoot for fun ...... it is becoming my career....... an obsession to live,eat and breathe the business....... I want to become the best there ever can be. I was a perfectionist when I was a kid,always striving to eliminate all the flaws in my work.That was untill I saw a comic strip that told me that was there was no such things as perfection. I was just happy to laze and chill out after that. What is there to fight for if you cannot be perfect.... my downfall that might have been.

I still hope to become the very best in my trade thou. I am so madly in love with photography that I treat it as an art form.It is the only thing I wake up in the morning looking forward to....... well that and my Dearest Aver of course.......

She is the love of my life. I really cannot see what I would be like if not for her. Despite my shortcomings and insecurities, she has been more than accomodating. Not to mention my mood swings....... My Venus..... my Goddess of Love........

Have just quited my day job recently to go full swing into Photography.The 1 month notice period is a killer. When you have no intention of advancing yourself, staying in a dead end job will be just for the pay-check but when you are on your way out towards something you have always wanted to do...... it gets extremely labourous. Every single minute becomes a chore. Time ticks by ever so slowly with your heart and mind in another place. Argghh... you would wish things can end so you can move on.

I want to be the best in the industry. I want to be the man Aver can depend on for the rest of her life. I want to shower her with care and concern, gifts and time.

Before her,I was lost...... she discovered my gifts and talents and made me believe in myself.

I am moving bravely forward and my dreams I should advance towards. In the meantime, the frustrations continues..... tick tock...tick tock....tick tock.......

Escape

Escaping the hyper real world that surronds us,

What we perceive to be important and essential ,

Might not even have a significance in the bigger scope of things.

A day job while we pursue our interests……

A hobby we named them are all but excuses and safety nets.

Time to get rid of the Clutter and venture forward,

Without even looking back…… holding you dearly in my hands……

I know I will never be alone…… Loving you ,my dear Aver.


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